Walking through any store in February, you are bombarded with pink and red hearts, fluffy stuffed animals, and boxes of chocolate. If you’re a person deeply in love with a partner who treats you like you’re the best thing since sliced bread, it's great.

You think about all the romantic things you can do during Valentine's week and all the fun things you’ll be doing with your partner on Valentine's night (wink, wink). But this week can be rough if you are single or not in a relationship that fulfills you.

What do you do when love is in the air, and you feel like you can’t breathe in it? What do you do when you want to manifest your soulmate or find love but have no idea where to even start?

Manifesting love is a hot topic, especially around this time of year. You might get a lot of advice about the manifesting part of how to manifest love… BUT, as you hopefully know by now, manifestation is just part of the picture.

If you want to learn how to manifest your soulmate, meet your true love, or just find a love that helps you believe in love again, there are some steps you need to take.

If you’ve struggled in the love department for a while, shadows and limiting beliefs about love may be holding you back from finding and accepting the love you deeply desire. You can do all the vision boarding and affirmations for manifesting love, but your love life will fall short without resolving your shadows and limiting beliefs.

It’s also so easy to get into a scarcity energy after going on failed date after failed date. This is where gratitude comes in. Finding an attitude of gratitude around love will help you step into a vibration that attracts the love you want into your life.

Once you do this, manifesting love becomes so much easier.

Shadows Work To Find Your Soulmate

Your shadows can haunt you for years, sometimes before being noticed, especially with a busy, fast-paced life with lots of social media to distract you from what's happening inside your head. Shadows around the subject of love can also be so deeply embedded into your subconscious mind that you never even know it is a shadow, to begin with.

This is why shadow work is the first pillar! Because this can be one shady mother******!

Shadow work to find your soulmate can be rough, but it is necessary to manifest love. And, bestie, it all begins with self-love.

How To Do Shadow Work For Self-Love

One of the best ways to do shadow work for self-love is to journal about your past. Journaling is great for people who need to intellectually understand something before they can emotionally heal it.

You learn so much about love as a child because the first time you experience love is from those who raise you. Your parents and caregivers teach you what love looks like and how to love yourself.

When you are not taught to love yourself first, you may be more likely to accept less love than you deserve. You also can’t show up for love the way you need to because of a fundamental feeling of not being worth loving.

Shadow Work Journal Prompts:

Where did you learn how to love yourself?

What has prevented you from loving yourself?

Did your parents love themselves? How did that affect you?

What did you learn from society about loving yourself?

For more help with your shadow work, get my Guided Shadow Work Journal.

What is The Shadow Side of Love

For some of us, love has always felt conditional. Jealousy, fear, codependency, and a feeling of being unworthy of love create a monstrous shadow that can destroy the potential for the love you truly deserve.

Whether from your caregivers or from past relationship trauma, when love is living in you as this shadow monster, manifesting love is near impossible.

Jealousy, fear, and codependency live in a space of lack and control. They do not offer the emotional abundance that love lives in and create an internal environment toxic to true love.

Shadow Work for Attracting Love

Your shadows need to heal and integrate to attract the love you want in your life, romantic or platonic. Self-love is a key component, but understanding where you learned about love is an essential step for many.

Meditation can be a powerful tool for connecting with your inner child and giving them the love you needed growing up. In The Spiritual University meditation subscription, there are several meditations for shadow work that can take you deep into your subconscious and show you shadows that you may not even know are there.

For a general shadow work meditation: https://youtu.be/7_1vgRfir7U?si=MQSUW5nAYX-DiNVf

Limiting Belief about Love

Your limiting beliefs about love are hugely linked to your shadows. If the shadow is the monster, the limiting belief is what it says to you.

As you journal and journey through your shadows, you’ll probably find the beliefs that are attached to or manifested from the shadows.

For example, if you had a parent constantly put themselves down, that may have created a shadow relating to your self-love. You saw your parent's lack of self-love and learned that this was how you should treat yourself.

The parent's lack of self-love is the shadow, and your belief that you are not worthy of love is the limiting belief.

Your limiting beliefs are the stories you tell yourself that keep you small and in the same place you’ve always been.

Common limiting beliefs about love

Not being worthy of love
Love will leave, so don’t get too close
The love you want doesn’t exist
People can’t be trusted
A relationship will take away your freedom or autonomy
Needing to sacrifice for love
There are no good men/women/single people out there
Not likable
Too picky
Not picky enough

Take some time and journal about what the inner monolog of your limiting beliefs sounds like and where they originated from.

Sometimes, the waters of beliefs are muddy and hard to understand, especially around love. You logically understand that you are a great partner deserving of love, but there is a feeling inside that says you’re not.

If you’ve been at the affirmation game a while, sometimes the words in your head say one thing, but the feelings inside aren’t aligning. However, you’re so good at ignoring your feelings that you don’t even see it.

This experience is common for people who have tried to skip over the shadow work phase and jumped right to manifestation. As well as for those who've become stuck in the toxic positivity that makes its rounds in the spiritual space *cough, social media, cough*.

To release your limiting beliefs and create affirmations that create lasting transformations that help you love yourself and manifest your soulmate, you have to address that deeper feeling, not just the monolog in your mind.

For more help with your limiting beliefs, get my Releasing Limiting Beliefs Journal.

Finding an Attitude of Gratitude around love

Love and gratitude are scientifically linked. Gratitude releases oxytocin, otherwise known as the “love hormone.” Oxytocin helps you emotionally bond with others. On the woo-woo side, it can also be used to attract love.

You’re constantly sending out signals, energetic signals, frequency signals, and signals through body language.

For example, you know those people who are radiant? Those people who walk into a room and seem to make it brighter. Before they even speak, they just have good vibes. This person is radiating a specific energy. They beam from the inside out.

That is a person who is radiating at a frequency of love and gratitude. We are so attracted to these kinds of people because they are vibing higher than we are or are used to being around.

This is the kind of energy you have to learn to harness to attract your soulmate by using gratitude. And without resolving your shadows and releasing your limiting beliefs about love, you can’t activate this attitude of gratitude around love, so make sure to check in with yourself consistently in those areas.

Finding love with gratitude

If you’re struggling to find a sense of gratitude around love, you may be stuck in your mind. Gratitude can not be found in the mind. Sure, you can write a mental checklist of all the things you should be grateful for, but gratitude isn’t a logical thought. Gratitude is an energy that resonates from your heart's center.

Manifesting love is rooted in the vibration of gratitude. Actually, manifesting anything is rooted here.

To manifest love through gratitude, you have to find gratitude in what you have now and what you will have in the future. The future part is where most people get a little lost because how do you know?

You know because you choose to know. This is where we take a little visit to Delululand in the best way possible.

Feeling gratitude for the love that is on its way and knowing it will be here doesn’t make logical sense. This sense of knowing is different from understanding. Understanding is in the mind. It’s cognitive. Knowing is in the heart and doesn’t require logic or reasoning.

But maybe you’re one of the many who fears allowing this knowing in because of the what ifs.

“What if I’m wrong? What if it never happens for me? What if people judge me?”

To truly embrace an attitude of gratitude, attract love, and find your soulmate, you must let go of this scarcity and embrace abundance. Gratitude and love live in the energy of abundance.

This space of abundance approaches the possibilities of rejection with an attitude of “it's this or something better.” There is no sense of lack and no personal attack you need to prepare for when you approach love with this mindset.

Here is an exercise to help you connect with your heart center and find an abundance of gratitude around love.

Find a place to get comfortable and close your eyes. Bring your awareness to your heart. Feel it thumping in your chest. Feel your chest rise and fall as you breathe.

Now, imagine a warm white light starting to glow in the center of your chest. This light is a light of love, gratitude, and protection. With every breath, the light grows larger and larger. First, it expands to encompass you, filling you up with love, gratitude, and a feeling of safety.

Then, the circle of light grows to encompass your home and all who live in it. It grows more to cover your street, then your town, and then your county. It continues to grow and expand, and so do your feelings of love, gratitude, and safety.

It grows past the borders of your state and covers the whole country. Eventually, it expands so much that your love and gratitude cover the entire world.

You can use this exercise anytime you need to get out of your head, into your heart, and raise your frequency. Try it before a social event or date and see how things shift around you.

For more help finding gratitude, try out my Guided Gratitude Journal.

How To Manifest Love

Okay, now we have officially reached the fun part! There are so many fun manifestation rituals you can do to bring more love into your life. The more fun you can have with any manifestation practice, the better.

Like gratitude, manifestation lives in the heart right there alongside love. This is where you have full permission to dream big. Stare out the window, dream of your ideal relationship, and feel all the feels. The gratitude and love for this dream partner, the excitement in seeing them, the safety in being with them… all of it.

You could also write a letter to yourself from your future self telling all the things you and this manifested partner do, see, and feel for each other.

Remember, feelings are the most important part of any manifestation practice.

Maybe you want to go old school and vision board your manifested relationship. Make sure those pictures evoke the emotions you will be feeling at the moment. Find pictures of where you would travel and the activities you would do. See if you can find a couple to place in every picture so you can envision yourself and your partner there every time you look at your vision board.

Affirmations for manifesting love

Go back to your list of limiting beliefs, and let’s rewrite them! Rewriting your limiting beliefs helps you cement new thinking patterns over time. It’s an important part of the manifestation process.

When you first go through the four pillars, sometimes you will feel like your limiting beliefs have been released and go through a high vibe phase. But then something triggers old patterns again, which can sometimes leave you feeling like all your work was for nothing, like that old saying of two steps forward, one step back.

Rewriting your limiting beliefs as affirmations and saying them daily helps you leave those old patterns behind and build new ones. Patterns that help you grow and manifest love or whatever else you desire into your life.

If your inner monolog tends to sound something like…

I’m not worthy of love.
My partner will just leave me because love always leaves me, so don’t get too close.
The love I want doesn’t exist. Love is a fairytale.
Everyone cheats and gas lights. What’s the point of starting a relationship?
A relationship will take away my freedom, and I’ll lose all sense of myself.
I have to give up everything I care about in order to be loved.
There are no good men/women/single people out there.
I’m not likable, so how is anyone ever going to fall in love with me?
I’m too picky.
I always date losers.

Try changing it to these affirmations…

I am worthy of an abundance of love.
I trust and feel safe giving my partner my heart.
Love is in me and all around me.
The people I love and let love me are kind, compassionate, and faithful.
I am grounded in myself, and my relationships supplement me.
I receive love with no strings attached.
All the good men/women/people are drawn to me.
I like who I am and love myself. The person who is meant for me is attracted to me like a magnet.
I know what I’m looking for in a partner and will not settle for less than I deserve.
I only date people who are kind, loving, supportive and treat me like I'm the best thing since sliced bread.

Try this activity with the limiting beliefs you struggle with and start rewriting them. Try to keep your affirmations in the present tense. Commit to the practice for 90 days and journal your transformation throughout the process with them.

For more help with your manifestation game, check out my Guided Manifestation Journal.

Remember, growth is not linear. You may find yourself going through ups and downs as you work to manifest your soulmate or more love into your life. A new shadow may pop up. A limiting belief might be holding on to you for dear life. You are allowed to have moments of struggle. You are allowed to have a negative day here and there.

Giving yourself grace is important because this is a process of changing your brain and how you were conditioned to think your whole life. It will not be an overnight process… we do not do toxic positivity here.

Remember that one bad day will not derail your whole process. It takes time and dedication to become that magnetic manifesting machine.

Keep doing your shadow work and releasing and rewriting your limiting beliefs. Dedicate yourself to your gratitude and affirmation practice. Meditate as often as you can. Journal your way through this journey and watch as the manifestations come through one right after the other.

Book a Spiritual Consulting session with me if you are looking for one-on-one support on your journey of manifesting love.

Manifesting Love: How To Manifest Your Soulmate